I've been thinking about what's happend with me this last year, and I have to say I'm grateful for so many things as a direct effect of having cancer. I am grateful for my life, and grateful to be able to share my life with the people I dearly love. I'm lucky, so lucky, because I'm one of the few who have been shown in vivid light what is important in life and how to stay focused and take care to nurture those important things. It's been shown to me how important I am to all the people in my life. As well as how important I've been to people in my past, and how I can do something for the people around me in the future.
My life has ment something, I am sure of it.
This time of year one can't help thinking of the Dickensian stories told over and over again, A Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life, and the many more that follow that format, asking the question people ask them selves from time to time 'What would the world be like without me? Who's lives would have been different had I not been there in some fashion to change the situation - the equation?'
I don't know how often I've been involved in a ripple effect - but I'm sure there have been countless times that I've made a difference in someone's life on account of something I said or did - at least on some small scale; and I know this is true for everyone out there in the world.
It is especially true for the people who have reached out to myself and Dan this last year. Our lives have had an immediate effect for our betterment. I thank you. I am grateful to you.
If I didn't have my loving husband to help me stay strong and hold my hand and tell me everything would be alright, I wouldn't be able to tell you what state of decline I would be in by now. I live for Dan, and our parakeet Glen.
If I didn't have the army of friends in the music community who have given me moral support, and told me I was strong, and showed me that they cared; I don't know how I could keep struggling to go on. I'm sure I would be at a much lower point that I am. I live for you my friends, you keep me going.
I've been thinking of the world in a different way lately, because there have been so many great things happening in regards to people reaching out to help me. People have rallyed for a cause, a cause that is me. I am so grateful and also overwhelmed. It's come into focus for me that our music community is like a vast fabric, or membrane, knit together that heals it's self when wounded. Our people take care of each other when one is in need. I'm so lucky and proud to be a part of that community! I have such gratitude, and I am so thankful.
I've also been thinking of my 1/64 indian background, which is Osage indian.
I've read that the Osage indians attribute their origins to the separation of the earth, sky and water.
They believe that humans and other living species inhabit a narrow stratum between earth and sky called Hó-e-ga. This plane of existence consist of two interconnected realms:
a visible world in which things take physical form, and an invisible world of creative powers and spiritual forces.
I believe there is a third realm interconnected in this stratum, and that is the realm of the music community with it's world wide creative powers and spiritual forces. It is a collective of positivity that has true healing power and is able to keep the ill strong.
I am lucky to be in that caring realm.
I am grateful to all who have put in the time and effort to put on concerts world wide in my name to benefit me. I can not thank you enough, except in doing my best to stay strong and stay alive.
Love to you all, my caring army!